Sunday, 29 March 2015

Choosing To Be Happy | What To Do With Your Life

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now but never really found the right time. Also I didn't know if my blog was the right place to post it because I never really do posts like this. However, after thinking about it this little space I've made on the internet is for me to express whatever I want and at the moment this is what I want to post. You better get yourself a cuppa for this post because it's going to be a long one!
For a while now I've been playing with the idea of choosing to be happy. Don't get me wrong I've never got a place so bad that I've wanted to do something in the spur of the moment but recently I feel like I've just 'settled.'
One thing I've learnt over the past few months is how important it is to be happy with what you're doing. Whether that's school, college, university or work its important to be enjoying it. I started college September last year and loved it at first. However as time went on and the work piled up I realised I jut wasn't enjoying it as much as I wanted to. I was becoming more stressed and anxious than I had ever been and it just wasn't good for me. Pretty quickly my emotions started to reflect at home. I was taking it out on my family, it even got the point where I didn't realise what I was doing and how horrible I was being. I had frequent panic attacks in the evenings about going to college the next day which I knew just wasn't right but I didn't know how to change it so instead of doing something about it, I put up with it. It went on like this for a good couple of months until I decided to speak to someone about it.
It wasn't until I started to speak to my friends at college about it that I realised how unhappy I was. I still couldn't pin point what it was about college that made me so unhappy, I still can't, but at least I knew what I needed to change. Everyone kept telling me 'no one knows what to do at our age.' All I kept thinking is if that's the case why do people make us choose so young?!
I started speak to some friends from school who went on to do apprenticeships and I knew it was something I was interested in and something I wanted to do.
I started looking online right away and booked myself a couple of interviews. I had my first interview just last week but sadly didn't get the job. I was obviously down heartened at first but just knowing that I could get interviews was good enough for me. Just knowing that I could change what was making me so unhappy made me happier already.
I'm still at college right now but I'm already a lot happier knowing I can change that, even if it means sticking it out for this first year and then leaving.
I feel like I've come full circle in just a few months?? I still get anxious and stressed just as much as you probably do but ever since I've been looking at improving what I'm doing with my life my panic attacks have calmed right down. I guess that the point of this post is that if you want to be happy then you need to make sure you're enjoying life. I just wasn't enjoying what I was doing. I still don't like college but I'm willing to work hard at it because I know I've got better options after it.

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