Friday, 1 September 2017

Why I Chose An Apprenticeship

I've been wanting to write this post for a long time now and recently I've been thinking more and more about it and so I decided to finally sit down and do it.
I started college in September 2014 and I chose to study 3 A Levels in Textiles, Photography and Sociology. I was SO ready and excited for it. I couldn't wait to leave school behind me and move on. Fast forward to early 2015 and it was a completely different story. I spent every morning absolutely dreading going and every evening crying to my parents about my teachers, lessons, coursework and more. The thought of getting out of bed and getting on the bus to go was the most horrible feeling and what made it worse is that I couldn't describe to anyone why. My parents emailed my teachers to see if they could help me but thinking about it now I knew really that no one could. What made it worse is that all of my friends around me were so happy and fulfilled. They knew what they wanted, how to get it and where to go in the future, where as I had no idea. I wasn't looking forward with any excitement or joy, instead I just felt tied down by stress that it was slowly turning me into someone who I wasn't without realising it. I was turning into someone I didn't like. Someone that was constantly depressed, constantly moody and constantly tired. I was so overwhelmed that I was forced to see everything in a negative way and it was like tunnel vision and all I could see was it getting worse. I was so low and stressed that nothing anyone did could get me out of it. It sounds so silly writing this all down but I've honestly never felt that crap about anything before and I hope I never do again. I knew there was only one way out of it and that was to leave. Luckily my parents didn't take much convincing and during the easter holidays I managed to get a couple interviews for some apprenticeships in childcare. I didn't get the first job which knocked me back a couple of steps but after interviewing at a second placement they offered me the job there and then and I was SO happy and it felt SO good to say that I wasn't going back to college. My parents emailed my college that same day to say I wasn't coming back. I left college 2 weeks before my first year exams which to some people might sound stupid and trust me, I get a lot of "Why didn't you just do the exams and then leave?" but the thought of doing them made me feel physically sick and not just the usual exam nerves sick. I knew that this was for the best.
Fast forward again to now, nearly 2 and a half years later, and I couldn't be happier with where I am right now. When I got my Level 2 qualification in childcare I was offered a full time job at the same nursery and now I'm only a couple months away from finishing my level 3. Doing an apprenticeship was the best decision I've ever made, being paid to do something I love is just the icing on top of a damn good cake. I still love doing photography as a hobby and would love the opportunity to one day study textiles again maybe but for now I'm completely okay with how everything turned out and I couldn't be happier.
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